Being a dad is all I have ever wanted to do. I loved hockey as a boy and briefly dreamed of playing in the NHL, but my desire to have a family was stronger. I didn’t want hockey—or anything else—to stand in the way of my dream life. By the way, I love baseball and still dream of playing in the MLB; if there are any scouts reading this, my exit velocity is really picking up, and I’m working on my launch angle. I should be ready by spring training!
Sometimes, I wonder what might have happened if I had pursued a career in athletics or made a run at collecting Stanley Cup championship rings. If I had a time machine like Marty McFly, would I go back and try it a little differently? Sure, I could play hockey and still have a family; plenty of people do. But the thought of that kind of extreme success doesn’t tempt me in the least. My goals were clear from a young age, and I’ve accomplished them. I have one full hand of championship rings:
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Paula – my dream wife, the foundation of our family
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Casey – driven, caring, smart – not content with MLB he’s focused on the hall of fame – 10X!
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Hunter – Funny, outgoing, a great leader in the making – wants to be a gamer when done MLB, watch out youtube!
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Maddie – warm, sweet and can keep up with 2 big bros in everything. Maybe an Arbonne lady or maybe the first female president of the USA
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Macy – Sassy and loves the spotlight. Like a miniature Beyonce, a future on stage?
Each of these names represents a championship ring to me. I’ve achieved my wildest dreams—crazy, right?
While it’s one thing to have the family, this career can feel like the opposite of a pro sports career. In this role, all the work is done after you get the rings—engagement, wedding, and championship; this rings analogy is really working for me!
Now, I’m figuring out how to be a dad, a husband, and a professional all at once with a lot riding on it. Raising kids is the most pressure I can think of. I don’t mind making mistakes and learning from them, but I feel a lot of pressure to do my best for my kids at all times; it’s one job I can afford to mess up.
Now that I’ve been a dad for nearly 12 years, I think I basically have it all figured out (insert sarcasm here—seriously, is there a font for that?). I have learned a lot, but the more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know. Funny how that works! From day one as a father, I’ve planned and thought through much of my strategy. I’ve made countless faux pas (that’s French for f*&k-ups), but it hasn’t been for lack of effort or strategy. I have no doubt every parent in the world is doing their best on any given day—nobody wakes up thinking about how to screw up their kid.
In parenting, like everything else, we strive for progress, not perfection. My earliest strategy was to try to raise my kids to be somewhat like me, hoping they could become a little better. This is a tribute to my parents and the fine job they did raising me and my siblings; they weren’t perfect parents(it’s impossible to be), but they did a great job. By learning from some of their mistakes, perhaps I could improve on it and advance humanity a bit more each generation. It seemed completely logical—and I love logical!
But it struck me like a lightning bolt relatively recently: my plan was horribly flawed, and I don’t believe it can possibly work. It’s not for lack of effort or planning; it has to do with human nature, mirror neurons, and all that scientific psychobabble. My kids are great kids—truly, I think they are the greatest kids there are. But they aren’t actually great or not great—they are simply infinite potential; they can and will become whatever they choose. However, they are tremendously influenced by the examples around them. My kids are great listeners, but they have a habit of not doing what they are told, certainly not with the consistency and expediency I would like to see! I’ve also noticed they mirror what I do and what Paula does; they reflect our actions, whether that’s good or bad!
“Do as I say, not as I do” is a load of crap—it’s not possible for kids. They are going to follow the trail we lay for them. Our kids hold infinite potential and they copy us; their potential is shaped and limited by our habits as parents. And us parents? We are just big kids ourselves, which means we also possess infinite potential. That potential never ends. If we feel like we have reached the limits of our potential then it’s probably because we’ve hit the ceiling set by our parents, mentors, or role models. It’s up to you to decide to push past that ceiling and at some point your kids will have to decide if they will push past the ceiling of potential you’ve set for them. I hope mine choose to leave me in the dust!
Until then, we have to raise that ceiling as high as we can. Don’t limit your kids’ potential, and don’t just tell them to work harder, be better, do more, SHOW them!
I am not a perfect dad, I make mistakes on a daily basis but I am trying to be better every day so my kids see what it means to keep striving for their full potential. I pray that all of you parents out there be kind to yourselves and don’t expect perfection but pursue progress. The best is yet to come!!
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